Return & Reunion
Successful Homecoming Tips
The following are tips for returning Service personnel:
a.Expect it will take a little time to become reacquainted with your spouse. Make an effort to do the little romantic things that shows them they are in your thoughts.
b.Resist the temptation to criticise. Remember that your spouse has been doing his or her best to run the household single-handedly and care for the children while you were away. Give them credit for their efforts, even if their way of doing things is different from yours.
c.Take time to understand how your family may have changed during the separation. Go carefully when disciplining your child - get to know what new rules your spouse may have set before you jump into enforcing the household rules.
d.Do not be surprised if some members of your family members seem a little resentful about your deployment. Others often think of the deployment as more fun and exciting than staying at home - even if you know different.
e.Infants and small children may be shy or even fearful around you at first. Be patient and give them time to become reacquainted.
f.Resist the temptation to go on a spending spree to celebrate your return. The extra money saved during deployment may be needed later for unexpected household expenses.
g.Most importantly, make time to talk with your loved ones. Your spouse and each child need individual time and attention from you. Remember, focus on the positives and avoid criticism.
The following are tips for the spouses of returning Service personnel:
a.Do something special to welcome your spouse home - help the children make a welcome banner, make your spouse's favourite meal etc, but be understanding and flexible if your spouse is too tired to notice.
b.Give your spouse time to adjust to being home. Do not tightly schedule activities for them. Do not expect them to take on all their old responsibilities immediately. Understand that your spouse may need time to adjust to different time changes, food, activities etc.
c.Plan on some family time together. Suggest a barbecue or a special family meal. Time together helps the returning spouse to get back into the rhythm and routine of family life.
d.Be patient and tolerant with your spouse. He or she may not do things exactly as before. New experiences during deployment may bring changes to attitude and outlook. Your spouse may have some initial discomfort adjusting, but this doesn't mean your spouse is unhappy with you or the family.
e.Stick to your household budget. Do not spend money you do not have on celebrating your spouse's return. Show you care through your time and effort, not by how much you spend.
f.Do not be surprised if your spouse is a little hurt by how well you were able to run the household and manage the children without them. Let them know that your preference is to share family and household responsibilities with them no matter how well you did on your own.
g.Stay involved with your children's school activities and interests. Do not neglect the children's need for attention as you are becoming reacquainted with your spouse.
h.Stay involved in your own activities and interests, but be flexible about making time for your spouse.
i.Don't be surprised if children test the limits of the family rules when your spouse returns. It's normal for children to want to find out how things may have changed by acting up a little. Consistent enforcement of family rules and even-handed discipline are key to dealing with such behaviour.
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