Domestic Violence
What can I do if I am a Victim?
If you are in a violent relationship there are three steps you can take:
- Recognise that it is happening to you.
- Accept that you are not to blame.
- Seek help and support.
As previously stated, domestic violence includes all kinds of physical, sexual, emotional and financial abuse within all kinds of intimate relationships. The most harmful abuse is carried out by men against female partners, but abuse can also occur by women against men and within same-sex relationships.
People experience domestic violence regardless of their social group, class, age race disability, sexuality and lifestyle. The abuse can begin at any time - in new relationships or after many years spent together.
Domestic violence can take a number of forms such as physical assault, sexual abuse, rape and threats. In addition, it may include destructive criticism, pressure tactics, disrespect, breaking trust, isolation and harassment. Some abusers offer 'rewards' on certain conditions, or in an attempt to persuade their partners that the abuse won't happen again. However persuasive they seem, the violence usually gets worse over time.
Accepting that you are NOT to BLAME
It is not easy to accept that a loved one can behave so aggressively. Because they can't explain their partner's behaviour, many people assume that they themselves are to blame. They are not. No-one deserves to be assaulted, abused or humiliated, least of all by a partner in a supposedly caring relationship. It is the abuser's behaviour that needs to be changed: there is no excuse.
Seeking Help
The most important thing you can do is to tell someone. For some the decision to seek help is quickly and easily made. For many, the process will be long and painful as they try to make the relationship work and stop the violence. The prospect of leaving an abusive relationship can be as frightening as the prospect of staying. Most people try to find help a number of times before they get what they need, and even after leaving there may still be a risk. Never be afraid to ask for help again.
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