Domestic Violence
How can I help a Friend who is experiencing Domestic Violence
In an emergency, always call the police by dialing 999 or ask your local operator for the nearest RAF Police Unit.
Unless the person you are trying to help has been very open about their experiences it may be difficult for you to acknowledge the problem directly. However, if someone does confide in you that they are experiencing domestic violence, there are some basic steps that you can take:
Be Understanding
Explain that there are many people in this situation. Acknowledge that it takes strength to trust someone enough to talk about the abuse. Allow them time to talk, and don't push them to give too much detail if they don't want to.
Be Supportive
Say that no one deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what the abuser may have said. Be a good listener, and encourage them to express their hurt and anger. Go together to visit a solicitor if the person is ready to take this step.
Let Them Make Their Own Decisions
Even if this means they aren't ready to leave the relationship. This is their decision.
Ask If They Have Suffered Physical Harm
Offer to accompany them to hospital if they need to go. Help them to report the assault to the police if they choose to do so.
Provide Information
As far as you can, provide information on the help that is available. The internet web site addresses of many orgaisations providing further information are given later in the booklet.
Plan Safe Strategies for Leaving the Abusive Relationship
Allow them to decide what is safe and what is not. Don't encourage them to follow any strategies that they are expressing doubt about.
Offer the use of your address, telephone number and Internet access including e-mail for information and messages.
Above all, look after yourself while you are supporting someone else.
Do not put yourself in a dangerous position: for example, do not offer to talk to the abuser about your friend, or let yourself be seen by the abuser as a threat to their relationship.
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